Things are looking much better today. I was hoping some sleep would help and it sure did. There are still a million and one things on my "to-do" list but I'm trying to take it one step at a time and to actually give myself CREDIT for the things I was able to do--4 loads of laundry, kitchen sink fixed (thanks John) and dishes washed, scrubbed 1 toilet, swept the kitchen floor, minimal tidying up so we can actually walk through our house again--nothing spectacular but some movement in the right direction feels good.
I don't know why I have been SO up and down lately. I feel like I'm on the biggest emotional roller coaster of my life...any high school friends remember our senior trip when we stopped at Buffalo Bills on our way to Cali and rode that crazy roller coaster like 10 times in a row without even getting off? Well that's what this feels like, only each night I go to bed not knowing if I'll wake up flying uncontrollably downhill or cruisin' on up. Thankfully on those down days there are things I can do to try to change my trajectory (planning play-dates and lunch dates that get me out of the house, taking a nap if possible, etc) but it's still frustrating that to some degree I feel like I can't control my mood.
Sometimes trying to run from or avoid our problems only makes them worse when they catch up with us, but other times it really helps to step away from what's worrying us and give ourselves a breather. John knows how maxed out I've been lately so over the weekend we decided to be spontaneous and escape to Park City from Sunday afternoon to Monday morning and then we went back up Monday night until Tuesday morning (John had to come back for work and I didn't want to be stuck up there without a car). Even though I ended up being sick while we were up there it was SO nice to get away for a couple nights. Plus, we finally managed to get a picture of all 4 of us (though we still need to work on getting the kids to smile for the camera!).
2 comments:
I didn't even notice his hair in the first pic. :) I am glad you're feeling a bit better. It HARD! Especially when your sick with two needy kids. We should hang out again. Soon. :)
Court, I'm glad you are feeling better. About your last post, I think anyone would be out of whack without a sink, with their house in disarray, and 2 little kids staring at them while they feel sick. I know when Lydia and Emma were that age, it was a really hard time for me. Lydia couldn't talk to me as well as I wanted, and Emma talked by crying. I felt quite lonely, and depressed. All I can say is, it gets better! I love where I'm at now with Lydia and Emma and I being able to have long conversations, and I definitely feel less lonely. They help me out when I need it.
I know that especially for Matt, when our house is in disarray, he has to go on these mondo cleaning sprees before he can think straight. I think John should hire you a cleaner, as a matter of fact, I think Matt should hire one for me too! haha. With lots of little kids, it would be nice to just have someone every few weeks just come and clean the house well.
Court, you are awesome, and as long as you are eating healthy, your body will love you! Keep trying, and you will get there! We love you!!!!
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