Courtney 1 ED 0

Dear Courtney,

See, I knew you wouldn't be able to do it. Yeah, you try...but your efforts are never good enough. You're too weak to stay "strong" when it gets tough. So why try anymore? It's too hard. The pain is never-ending and it won't be worth it in the end. And you know how fat and gross you feel after eating that monstrous lunch today? Well that feeling will NEVER go away. The only way you can feel better is to skimp on dinner tonight and go back to losing weight, not gaining. I know you don't like me but that's too bad because you can't survive without me. Sure, some people can recover, but not you. You're too far gone for hope.

Sorry,
ED

ED (you're not worth the title "dear"),

If I weren't so sick and tired of you I would be laughing. Because you are SO full of it! First off, I AM doing it. You try to trick me into thinking imperfection=failure, but that's not true. Imperfection just means I'm human and as long as I'm moving in the right direction I'll be just fine. You're right that it's hard and at times it feels like the pain will never end. But it ALWAYS passes and I know it will be more than worth it in the end. Sometimes I don't want to try, but there are other things (my beautiful son, my amazing husband, wonderful family and friends) that matter more than doing what's easy.

Second, you say I can't survive without you, but that is a twisted lie. The truth is YOU cannot survive without ME. You're scared because you know I'm the one with real power and control, not you. You survive by lies, fear, and darkness. I survive by truth, faith, and light. No one, including myself, is an exception to truth. And the truth is that progression is ALWAYS possible. No matter how desperate or grim the situation there is ALWAYS a choice to choose the better part. No matter how dark things seem there is ALWAYS room for light.

There is always hope.

Courtney