Learning the hard way

I've had to learn some hard lessons lately. And I've had to learn them in a hard way. But I'm glad I'm at least learning.

Lesson #1: I cannot afford to hold on to even a tiny piece of my eating disorder. When I leave the door to ED open even a crack it somehow gets blown wide open and eventually comes unhinged. I need to shut the door, lock it, deadbolt it, pour a cement slab over it, and then get used to using other doors and avenues to deal with life's problems.

Lesson #2: I may know myself best, but that doesn't mean I'm always the best judge of what I need. I know my efforts and I know my heart, but sometimes what I "think" is enough really isn't adequate. Sometimes what I think is okay really isn't acceptable. And sometimes what I think is way too much is really just the right amount. I'm an intelligent person yet I can't always trust what I see. That's why I need to let go and trust those around me.

Lesson #3: There is no use looking back with regret, shame, or guilt. I can't change the past, but I can always choose where to go from here. That doesn't mean I'll always pick the perfect path, never have a lapse in judgment, or always know exactly what to do. But it does mean I can move forward regardless of my past, with hope and confidence in my ability to progress. Because isn't that what life's all about? It really doesn't matter where we are...it's where we're headed that counts. And despite a little setback I know I'm headed in the right direction.