Where do I even start?

I'm not sure words can really describe how grateful I am to be alive. Because for a long time I was living, but not really alive. There are a lot of things I still don't understand, but dwelling on questions of why- why it has taken me so long to see hope again, to see that my life can revolve around more than food and obsessions, to see the beauty and not just the pain- right now the answers don't matter, what matters is that I am moving in the direction I want to go. I know this is a silly analogy but I feel like my life is like this crazy tree. At first sight all we see is the deformity, and we may ask why in the world would a tree that started out perfectly normal then grow sideways!?! That's not how a tree is supposed to grow, why would it waste all that energy going in the wrong direction? What matters is that the tree survived and went on to grow towards the light, and maybe the change in direction was a necessary part of it's survival. Maybe it's foundation wasn't strong enough, maybe it's life was threatened by disease, maybe it just knew someday a tired hiker would need a place to sit. Who knows how long the tree would've lived had it continue to grow horizontally, and I'm guessing at times the life of the tree was threatened. But thankfully we are not looking at a picture of a dead tree, but rather at a tree that still knew it had the potential to change it's course and rise once again. My life has taken twists and turns that haven't always been pretty, and in some ways I am still fighting to grow towards light and life. Changing directions can be painful, and I may be left with bumps, bruises, and even some scars, but wouldn't life be boring without a few crooked trees?