101 reasons why I want to recover from my eating disorder

Sorry guys, this is mostly for me, being that I've been struggling a bit lately. Getting sick kinda threw me for a loop so I'm hoping this list can help me get back on track.

1. I want to be happy
2. I have the most amazing husband in the world and I want to grow old with him
3. I want to have a family
4. I want to use my talents to do good, to do things that really matter
5. I want to be strong enough to run, bike, hike, ski, swim, and enjoy the outdoors
6. I want to help others who are struggling, show them by example it's possible to overcome
7. I want to go back to school and I need a clear mind to do that
8. I want to write a book
9. I want to have friends and not isolate myself so much
10. I'm tired of believing I've messed up my life- it's never too late to change
11. I want to express my feelings rather than stuffing them
12. I want to love myself for who I am, not for what I do
13. I want to climb The Grand Tetons
14. I want to go backpacking in New Zealand
15. I want to have summer BBQ's with homemade ice cream
16. I want to save money and spend it in fun ways (redoing our house, traveling, etc) rather than on medical bills
17. I want to face my fears rather than hiding from them
18. I am sick of the distorted thinking and lies that I've listened to for so long
19. I don't need things to be perfect- I can tolerate distress, conflict, and even pain. All feelings eventually pass.
20. Sure, I get immediate relief, sometimes even a euphoric feeling, from ED behaviors, but it never lasts and I always end up feeling worse in the long run
21. It's a vicious cycle, if I'm feeling depressed and decide not to eat, I'm depriving my brain of the nutrients it needs to function, leaving me more depressed, anxious, and more likely to be irrational
22. Of course my hunger/fullness signals are all messed up. Why wouldn't they be after all I've put my body through? It's terrifying to eat and feel no sense of fullness, like I'm a bottomless pit. But I know that won't last forever. With time my body will trust me again.
23. I want to perform Rachmaninov's 2nd concerto (I don't know where, maybe in my living room)
24. I want to play soccer and go to Real games with John
25. I want to do things that build character and confidence- like volunteer work, humanitarian service, or even just taking cookies to a neighbor

Okay, I'm starting to get stumped so I'll come back and finish the list later. It will be good to keep this topic on my mind.